and just like that it is 2016.
i remember thinking of 2016 a lot when i was little. i think i read somewhere or watched something that said the world was going to end in 2016. i remember being 12 and scared out of my mind and to make myself feel better, i'd imagine all that i would accomplish by 2016. i just knew that i would have a great job, and i'd be a little bit famous or important. i knew that i would have a home. i knew i would be married and would have had at least one child. i knew that i would be beautiful and energetic and social and fit and...
i just knew.
well, 12 year old charly, i hate to break it to you, but at 12:00am on january 1st, 2016, you were on your computer messaging your best friend about how jealous you were that he was karaoke-ing with a favorite high school teacher of yours for NYE. i was so focused on the message that i barely registered that it was now 2016. 12 year old charly, i was in my pajamas, on the couch, with a glass of very good champagne and a dog. 12 year old charly, i fell asleep on the couch watching parks & rec while covered in my star wars pendleton blanket that i bought on a particularly tough day back in october. i woke up at 6:45am dying for some water and then moved to the bed, couldn't fall back asleep, and felt a little depressed about being alone. don't worry, i then fell asleep and woke up three hours later feeling great and ready to shuck some oysters with friends. 12 year old charly, i'm glad you had your dream to get you past worrying about the end of the world, but that is all it was...a dream. the reality is different. no better. no worse. just different. i hope you can accept that, 12 year old charly.
anyway. 2016. hello there. i feel like i've been waiting for you.
i really want you, 2016, to be awesome. 2015 was good but it also sucked. while i am beginning to understand that almost every year will feel that way, i am hoping that you may lean on the good a little more than the bad this time around. i think that would be swell.
i came up with some intentions for the year to help with that. resolutions, goals, intentions...whatever you call them...can either be great or bad. i used to help people come up with goals and follow through with them. i think it can be helpful to have goals and make them measurable and have a by-when to support it. but i also think that can be too much or not make sense or just make you feel guilty for not being able to follow-through. strict goals, i think, can sometimes take some of the fun and mystery out of it and make it very clinical. i think it is good to have a mixture. to have a sense of what you want to feel, of what you want to do, of what you'd like to happen...
so i kinda put them together and came up with the following. some are specific. some aren't. some will get more specific as time goes on. ultimately, these are reminders. reminders to do things i love. reminders to keep growing. reminders to keep learning more about me, who i am now, and not 12 year old charly's dream of who i would be now. in fact, as i look at them, they are all me focused...which is a change from usual. i think that is okay. this is a year for learning and growing as an individual. it is about embracing me so when others embrace me, i'll enjoy and relish it but not feel like it is needed to determine my self-worth. it is about falling in love with the woman i've become.
SMILE - i want to feel happy, content, calm
- meditate once a day
- say no when i want to say no
- continue my gratitude and journaling practices
- celebrate my 30th birthday in a big way (guys, it is 59 days away...not that i am counting...)
KEEP MOVING - i want to feel healthy, full of wanderlust
- keep up current fitness level (working out 3 times a week) and eating habits
- raise $3500 for team for kids and run the NYC Half and the NYC Marathon
- travel outside the country at least once
- get out of my apartment more and explore what NYC has to offer
LESS IS MORE - i want to feel unencumbered, free, less stressed
- cut back on social media (it is a blessing and a curse, social media. i think i share too much.)
- buy fewer books and clothes (trying to go all january w/o buying either...unless the books are for class)/ get rid of clothes and books i don't want
- keep more free time in my schedule
- sit down and actually create a budget
LEARN - i want to feel excited, knowledgeable, nourished
- take a wine course (i think i want to become an amateur sommelier)
- read at least 30 books in addition to the ones for grad school
- see if there are flamenco classes i can take. take those classes.
- take a meditation course or italian course this month
DO ME - i want to feel like myself, grounded, like this is my year
- accept my sense of style wholeheartedly. perhaps write about it more here.
- say yes to things i like --> make a list of things i'd like to do, like a bucket list, but one that grows and changes. make sure i do one thing on that list a month.
- write all the things: plays, blog posts, letters to friends and the bigger project i have in my head
- be open. stay open.
okay 2016? sound like a plan?