honest

i've been thinking about the importance of being honest.

i mean, duh, it is always important to be honest, but it has been hitting me just how often i express myself differently than how i want to/need to.

over the last few days i've been saying things, naming things, sharing things that are a bit harder for me to be honest about. i've been sharing my anger, my fear, my reality a little more readily. 

little things and big things. probably the wrong things, but hopefully some right things. 

i just feel...like i don't want to not be me anymore.

not now.

i don't really know what that means in the scope of things, but those are the words i have right now. i just want to be honest with you. with me.

i want to share what it is like in this body i have so you can see and possibly understand. 

and i want to get comfortable with being uncomfortable because sometimes sharing, being honest, being unapologetically you can ruffle feathers. but, let's be real, my existence on this planet ruffles some feathers so...

here's to being honest about it all.