warning: this post is gonna talk about astrology. if that's not your style, feel free to skip it.
there is a new moon tonight.
i am thinking about what i want to create and what intentions i want to put out into the world.
i think it's apropos that tonight is a new moon, a new possible start. to be honest, and as i wrote in my blog post here, the new year didn't feel like a new start. i could feel things ending. while i set some loose intentions, i knew i couldn't really solidify them or really conceptualize them until...well...i knew what was going on. now i know. and yesterday felt like a new start to the year as i woke up in an apartment that was truly just mine. yesterday i felt like i could begin to make steps toward this year.
today i began buying a few new things for the apartment. i joined a gym. i started editing a play. i emailed my TAs.
and tonight i went to an event with the astro twins. they broke down what's in store this year according to the stars. they told us pisceans that we're recovering from an emotionally heavy year. i know i've said it 100 times, but 2017 was a really hard year. i didn't and couldn't write about all that happened here, but suffice it to say it was heavy and sad at times for me and some loved ones. and it was the last year of my saturn return. and then of course, the year ended in another sad and heavy place so...yeah...2017...you can suck it.
i realized as i sat in the audience tonight that the breakup essentially started the night my saturn return ended. i kind of laughed. yeah it took until last week for the relationship to officially end...but there saturn was, giving me one last lesson before it left. one left kick in the butt. one last reminder to come into my own. one last tug on the heart.
and this year, according to them,...as a pisces...i'm supposed to shake off the last year or so. i'm supposed to get reacquainted. i'm supposed to reset. i'm supposed to explore, get out there again, be a bit of a gambler. i'm supposed to travel.
when they said that, i smiled and nodded. i feel this. i really do feel that i am supposed to spend time on myself and my career and my passions and my wants and needs. i feel i am supposed to shake off the emotional heaviness. i feel i am supposed to explore not only the world, but most importantly myself. i feel that clearly in my bones. i could feel it for the last few weeks. i could feel it as i felt my heartbreaking. a sense of loss and a need to gain something else in its stead.
as i stare at my apartment, i am filled with a sense of calm. i am creating a nook for myself. just myself and the pup. people can visit of course, lol, but i really feel the need to live and breathe me for a bit.
and so tonight...this evening of the new moon...i'm sending those intentions up and into the universe. to just explore. to travel. to shake it off. to believe that things will get better. to take a few chances. to get back into myself.