more joy

this holiday season has felt a bit different than the last few before. 

i got to spend more time with family. i got my mom and dad to celebrate a holiday together. my grandparents were able to get out of their house for thanksgiving and have a nice little thanksgiving getaway. christmas started out quiet with just me, my boyfriend, and the dog, but that night my dad and niece came over for dinner. it was quiet, intimate, and slightly awkward as any good family get-together should be. yesterday i had brunch with old college friends (and stood up against them in a pizza hut/dominos hut all the way...thank god one friend was in agreement...excuse us while we enjoy our personal pan pizzas) and then spent the rest of the day showing my niece the city with the bf. we went back to the kerry james marshall exhibit, walked through central park, walked over the brooklyn bridge and made our way to shake shack. i was made fun of because i don't snap the snaps on my coat (why do i have to snap and zip?!), because i think pie without whipped cream is blasphemy, because i didn't want a milkshake, and because when it comes to fight or flight, i flee. i have issues, okay? issues i discovered that are easily made fun of. 

so much family time. so many good conversations. so many laughs and realizations and moments of reprieve. 

we all needed that in my family this year, i think. and because we listened to that need, this season has felt more intimate, more joyful, more meaningful. and i am really appreciative of that.

i am also really grateful to have a partner who wants to get to know my family and who is as sensitive to the issues beneath the surface as i am. and who dived in without the slightest complaint. i know this is part of the reason this season has felt a lot, well, better. and, as i said, i am grateful for that. so fucking grateful. 

so, all in all, it has been a good season despite the craziness of the world, the projects i should be working on, and seasonal depression that has been lingering in the shadows. i'll take the good. i'll hold on and cherish the good, the joy.