i have a bad habit of not listening to you.
i tend to look back and say, "oh...i knew that. i felt that. my intuition was giving me a heads up...but i didn't listen."
why don't we listen to you, intuition? why are you sometimes so quiet that we can't hear you over the noise? why are you sometimes so loud that we put in ear plugs as a way to get through the day?
you are hard to make out. you can sound an awful lot like the naysayer or the overly confident one in our heads. this may be why we ignore you sometimes. we can't tell if what you are whispering is a prophesy or a curse.
sometimes there is no difference. sometimes you have whispered that the end is coming, that the other shoe is dropping, that the dream is about to be further away. but then sometimes you have whispered calmness into my ear, you have breathed its going to be all right onto my chest.
sometimes you just said you know to me. you know this is the right dog for you. you know these rugs will go well together. you know this man is going to leave. you know you should slow down. you know you should give up while your ahead. you know you should keep going.
i feel i know so little these days, but you like to remind me that i know more than i can see, more than i can think about, more than others can imagine for me. most days i can't feel this knowledge, but when i do, i appreciate it.
(this is day five of april love)