I’ve started researching.
The last few months I’ve been really thinking about what I want my life to look/be/feel like.
I love writing plays and I dream of the day that my plays are being done throughout the country. I dream of the days you can buy a play of mine from The Drama Bookshop.
But I also love other things…and as my years in grad school come to a close, I am realizing that the career I dream of still includes other things. It includes mentoring/education, it includes visual arts and conversation, it includes creative non-fiction and novels, it includes hours spent outdoors and discovering…It includes connecting and connection.
But it also includes being able to take care of myself.
And I’m not sure how all these pieces fall into place.
And I’ve been thinking, pondering, researching.
I’ve started following people who have careers I envy. Writers, artists, museum educators, wellness professionals…I’ve been going to their websites and reading about them. I’ve been looking at what they do day-to-day. I’ve been trying to get a sense of what their paths have been. I’m making a list and reaching out to some people. I’m making lists of what I admire, what feels right, what makes me happy and brings me joy, what crap I’m willing to put up, etc.
Of course, I am thinking about all of this because life is shifting again. One door is 36 days from closing (the number of days until I am done with classes…and therefore grad school…not that I am counting) and I see before me a great big question mark in the horizon, surrounded by some opportunities and work I am already doing/hope to be doing, but really I see space to shift into the worker.writer.person I want to be.
Of course, I’m scared.
I’m always scared.
I am about two seconds away from freaking out.
But I am trying to do the work, trying to not just settle, trying to keep shifting…trying to find a place where I can settle in for a while and feel like I am doing the work I want to do while also being a productive member of society while also living the life I want while also being realistic.
Other people find this sweet spot, right?
…why shouldn’t I?